Rotoholics.com

Ahem: Before we get started, let me first say that after last night’s close victory, TWINNERs are now 13-3 on the year. That’s hot. Now on to the football.

Oklahoma State’s Dez Bryant got word from the NCAA that he will remain suspended for the rest of the season for lying to NCAA investigators. Meanwhile, Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes was caught on film trying his best to gouge a Georgia player’s eyes out, and Urban Meyer suspended him for half a game, a penalty later upheld by the NCAA.

So, lying gets you a season, and attempting to permanently blind another player gets you half an hour. That makes good sense. And, it’s half a game against Vanderbilt, no less, which is really more like a quarter against a real football team.  The penalty was such a joke that Spikes decided to go ahead and suspend himself for the whole Vanderbilt game. Are you kidding me? Urban Meyer is like school in the summertime: No class.

But I digress. This space is not about righting wrongs, it’s about winning. Going into last weekend, we were down a modest $7500 on the season (playing $1,000 a bet). That’s completely unacceptable, of course, so in order to get our victory train back on track, we needed a big Saturday, and we got one.

We started with a loser when Auburn completely demolished Ole Miss. Let’s review the pre-season predictions of Tim Brando, the top college football man at CBS Sports. He said Ole Miss had more talent than Alabama. He said Jevan Snead was the best quarterback in the SEC, maybe the country. He said Houston Nutt was a better coach than Nick Saban. Strike three, Timmy: You suck.

The rest of the day was smokin’ hot, with regular picks going 3-1 after the Ole Miss loss, and TWINNERs nailing three victories without a loss.

Headed into Sunday, it looked like we were about to finally put The Man down for good. And then it happened. The 0-fer, as in 0 for 3. No wins.  We picked only three games – all favorites – and the ghost of Dan’s early season comments came back to bite us on the ass. Colts: LOSER. Cards: LOSER. Saints: LOSER. The lone bright spot was the only TWINNER of the day: Vikings over the Packers.

Mathematically speaking, it’s just as hard to lose every game as it is to win every game. So we’ve proven, at the very least, that we’re capable of winning every game. Giddy up.

The Tally:

Regular Picks    3-5 (-$2500)

TWINNERs:       4-0 (+$4000)

Week:               +$1500

Season:                        -$6000

SATURDAY WINNERS

Ohio St. at Penn St.
Big 10 football excites me about as much as a dirt clod. The lone exception is Penn St., who can put some offense together when they protect their quarterback. Meanwhile in Columbus, Jim Tressel has managed to take a ton of raw, undeveloped talent in quarterback Terrelle Pryor and, in two years of coaching, helped him grow into a ton of raw, undeveloped talent. Pryor is worse right now than he was in his first start. Nice job, Sweatervest. Take the Nittany Lions at home -3.5.

Wake Forest at Ga. Tech
The Demon Deacons are tough to figure. Just two years ago they played in the ACC Championship Game in Jacksonville in a driving rain in front of dozens of people. Does anyone really care who wins the ACC? Now, Wake is struggling to beat junior high teams while hanging tough with the big boys. But we’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: Bobby Johnson rules. His triple-option spread attack is almost impossible to prepare for in one week, and Wake just doesn’t have the muscle on defense to slow down the Ramblin’ Wreck. Take the Jackets -14.

Connecticut at Cincinnati
The Bearcats are going to do their dead-level best to destroy all the mediocre teams they play this year to impress the pollsters and try to nudge themselves into a chance at the title. Here’s comes another chump: Connecticut. Cincinnati is a covering machine: Take the Bearcats -17

USC at Arizona St.
USC is always tough after a loss. Look for them to rebound big this week and run it up on Arizona St. The Sun Devils are 4-4 on the season, but their four wins came against teams with a combined record of 8-25. This one’s not even close: Trojans -10.

Colorado St. at UNLV
Here’s one for the late-night crowd. These are two of the worst teams in D1 football, but the winner of this game still has a shot at a bowl berth. Is the Poulan Weedeater Bowl still around? Maybe they’ll make the Papa John’s Bowl in Birmingham, Ala., played at a stadium so sketchy that in spite of purchasing the bowl naming rights, Papa John’s won’t deliver pizzas to the neighborhood where the game is played. Take the Rams in a pick ‘em

SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY

We still have that 0-fer from last Sunday to contend with. Three games and no wins make Jimmy a psychotic bastard. In fact, all year long, Sundays have been tough on The System, but as more games are played and more numbers are crunched, and more trends get established, the odds tilt ever more in our favor. And is there anything in gambling better than a big old pile of DUE? We’re due baby, and I think it’s just about time to kick some Sunday ass.

Baltimore at Cincinnati
The Ravens got off to a hot start then cooled off for a few games before finally getting back off the skids last weekend. After losing three heart-breakers in a row, Baltimore rebounded by handing the Broncos their first loss of the year in a convincing fashion. Cincinnati has played way over their heads this year – Take the Ravens -3.

Carolina at New Orleans
New Orleans has covered almost every game this season (except the two weeks that I picked them.) Carolina shocked us last week by going to Arizona and getting a win, but the only other games the Panthers have won – or even been close in – were against Washington and Tampa Bay. Yikes. Brees is already salivating over this Panther defense: Take the Saints -13.

Dallas at Philly
Dallas is way overrated. Receiver Roy Williams – who leads the world in dropped balls – actually had this to say recently about Tony Romo: “It’s just not even close. … I’m the No. 1 receiver. But things are just going No. 2’s way. He gets the ball thrown correctly his way. I’m stretching and falling and doing everything.”

Yeah, Roy, you’re doing everything except catching the damn ball. I wouldn’t throw you a hot potato, butterfingers. Imagine that – discord in Dallas. Philadelphia rolls: Take the Eagles -3.

Pittsburgh at Denver
Denver’s dream start came crashing down around them last week as the Ravens dismantled them en route to a 30-7 whipping, and that’s coming off a bye week for Denver. So are they as good as we once thought? No, they are not. This week, it’s Pittsburgh coming off the bye and travelling to Mile High for a Monday night matchup. Denver is good, but Pittsburgh is Super Bowl material: Take the Steelers -3.

THE RUNDOWN

Penn St. -3 vs Ohio Sweater

Georgia Tech -14 vs Wake Forest

Cincinnati -17 vs Connetticut (That’s how it should be spelled, damnit.)

USC -10 at Arizona St.

Colorado St. pick ‘em at UNLV

Baltimore -3 at Cincinnati

New Orleans -13 vs Carolina

Philly -3 vs Cowgirls

Pittsburgh -3 at Denver

And remember, at 13-3 on the season, our TWINNERs are kicking some bookie ass this year, so follow me on Twitter for exclusive TWINNER picks and game day commentary. We may even have a TWINNER on tonight’s college game, where Vince Dooley’s son Pat hopes to right La. Tech’s listing ship against powerhouse Boise St.

How bad is it for Dooley? His mother, Barbara, summed it up pretty well on the Paul Finebaum Show this week: “Right now, he’s sucking wind.” Thanks, Mom.