This week i am going to let the self-help gurus help me help myself. I am desperate to capture fantasy glory and the traditional methodologies are betraying me. I will listen to the soft sounds and hypnotic motivational tips of Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra and Dr. Wayne Dyer. “No shoulds. No have to’s. I am free” espouses Mr. Robbins. I will use strong mental images to achieve fantasy fullfillment. I will employ the four laws of fantasy or as Deepak says, “spiritual” success. Dr. Wayne Dyer tells me to “pull my own strings”. My statistical strategems be damned! Let the universe help me attain my goals. This week’s fantasy success (see already positive framing) will be grounded in a foundation of centered well being and balanced choices.
Four Fantasy Tenets Based on lots of Self-Help Reading and Suggestions:
I will not hoard players I do not need. Tony Robbins says in so many words that taking from others is not the way to the best you. Last week I had three tight ends on my bench to keep my arch rival from having a bye week replacement TE. I laughed like Gargamel or Skeletor and I rubbed my hands together as I plotted and schemed and picked up Jermichael Finley who had a juicy Browns match up. This move left me up a fantasy creek without a Ray Rice, and thus a back up RB, and thus, without a win.
I played shell of himself Willie Parker, who isn’t so fast anymore and is hobbled by turf toe. I had Tight-End-orama on my bench, Chris Cooley and Jermichael Finley who were doing very little themselves besides breaking ankles and spraining knees. I had the good fortune of playing Mr. Vernon Davis who finally became who I thought he was. And because of Vernon’s Alex Smith connection, I was in a dogfight with my cross-town rival that I lost by 3 measly points. If I picked up Laurence Maroney and his sleepy 10 points, I would have beat my nemisis. Finley’s one point wouldn’t have helped him any had he plucked him from waivers. Instead the enemy took me to the house with bye week replacement Dante Rosario who scored, you guessed it, three points.
I will ask the universe for what I want. I will ask the universe for someone to drop a running back. As stated before, i need one, and Deepak says to ask the universe for what you want. OK universe, running back, preferably one who doesn’t share too many carries or play the Ravens. Universe, Jamal Charles? Or perhaps “Child Please” won’t see the new found potential of Beanie Wells. I see Wells becoming a HUGE contributor as the season finds the juicy middle. I know rookie RB’s can hit a wall because the length of the college season is so much shorter than the pros, but I like the way Wisenhunt has managed Beanie and kept him almost on a pitch count to keep his confidence in tact. I like Beanie to put up about 10-14 points a game from here on out. Yes Universe, Beanie would be who I want. (I’m asking for what’s plausible too- not Adrian Peterson, because I know the Universe isn’t giving me AD.)
Pull your own strings. Dr. Wayne D calls me to take charge of the things I can control. I cannot let an insane outing by Shonn Greene get me down. I can’t control a stroke of fateful misfortune such as the Leon Washington injury. What I can do, is put the best 9 guys out there that I have on my roster and not worry that my opponent just struck Greene in his quiet desperation to have a running back who was actually playing.
I won’t pine over Miles Austin and lose sleep over his absence on the “Breesettes”. I was outbid by team “Knight of the Sorry Face” by $1. The cookie crumbled. Miles isn’t mine. How could I have known one more dollar would have had him. I will pull the right TE’s string this week and not misplay this position every week, mainly because the other two are both hurt, but I feel in control of the Breesettes. I will not hand the reins of my fantasy team over to CBSSPORTS outlandish GURU anymore. I will be my own guru and I will even allow myself to play a Colt. I have my own fantasy rule which is never draft a guy from my team the Colts because I don’t want to have anger with any of my Colts nor do I want to jinx them. I didn’t follow that rule but need to accept that I did not jinx poor Anthony Gonzalez the first week because of this blatant disregard for that rule. Dr. Wayne Dyer says know what strings you can pull, and which ones are just coincidence.
Envision what you seek to happen: I am imagining Greg Jennings’ giant man hands cradling a pigskin ball in a green and yellow endzone surrounded by cheering fans with cheddar on their melons. I have a clear outlook of Greg Jennings making a Lambeau leap into the loving arms of Packer faithful while Brett Favre buries his head in his hands wishing that he still had a receiver like my Greg. What is the deal with Greg Jennings anyway? Last year touchdowns seemed to rain from his stat line. Is he afraid of the endzone? Is he a decoy? Is he boycotting Aaron Rodgers? Where have all the touchdowns gone? This week I will conjure up a spectacular touchdown for you Gregory. I will make it so in my mind and seal my intention with a nod to Antoine Winfield’s injury……..making vision a reality.
Ahead is a week I can make amends and pick up Jamal Charles for the injured Cooley and stash Mike Wallace on my bench for the war torn Finley. I am not stashing Wallace to keep him from making anybody else’s fantasy candle burn brighter. Wallace is on bye this week. I only want him because I think his mini-hawk’s cool and his nose for the ball may have surpassed that of Holmes and Ward, and I think Big Ben knows it. With all this positive energy, I am due for a real W. However, in the end fantasy laity, as Zig Ziglar says, “if you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost.”
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